Subject: Artemis Reviews: Orcs and Elves Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:29 am
Trailer
Spoiler:
It's been a long time since I've played Doom, or anything related to Doom for that matter. I do remember the awesome feeling of accomplishment when I defeated the game. Although Orcs and Elves comes from the developers of Doom, I don't get that same warm, fuzzy feeling when finished. It was originally made for cellphones and was transferred over to the DS. I guess that's why it's incredibly short. It took me ten hours to defeat it in normal mode.
THIS IS NO TIME TO BE READING!
Although it has the stamina of an overweight fifty year old, it has a pretty fun storyline and versatile weapons. Each stage has around 3 secrets to unlock, and will give you bonus points when you clear out all the monsters on the level. It's kind of a given that you will defeat all of the monsters because you WILL be looking for the secret passages. Your talking wand (and no, that is not a sexual metaphor) will give you hints and occasional witty sayings aimed at your enemies. It's like Navi, but without the constant narcissistic bitching. Throughout each stage you will encounter new monsters and each has their own weakness accordingly. For instance, the slime monsters aren't affected that much by swords or crossbows, but are very vulnerable to magic. You have different weapons that you will either find (mostly just rings), you can purchase, or be given by the dragon. I hardly had to buy anything unless I was short on Champions Brew. Another thing that I always seem to come across in adventure games: TOO MUCH ****. By the end of the game you have over 50,000 coins, practically invincible to even the nastiest Shade, and can walk across lava due to your dragonscale armor. When I defeated the big boss I still had 21 potions, 25 super potions, 36 defense & strength potions. I did use quite a few agility potions, but none of my healing potions because of the VERY FUCKING LARGE HEALING CRYSTAL in the middle of the room. It's like the creators wanted to intentionally make it so that you didn't die...ever. So that makes two things against this game. (Too much ****, also known as loot ;Game time is too short).
I did enjoy the storyline though. OK, not really the storyline, but the dialog. The basic premise of the game was to descend into the caverns to see the dwarf king to see what evil was brewing. Seeing as how all the dwarves were ghosts, you then find out what was the source of evil that was keeping their spirits there, and the occasional orc or two headed demon dog that popped out of the shadows. Along the way you will meet dwarves who very politely tell you the door code after you clear out some monsters, or have a good stiff ale with them. It was hilarious because your wand would be all 'NOOO DO NOT WANT!!', and you were like: '**** IT!' As I said before, the dialog is great.
I really wish the game was longer because they really had something going there. You guys should check it out if you can find a cheap copy. It only cost me 6 bucks (no tax of course) and it was worth it. I had a fun time.
---- Please excuse the stars. I wrote this for another site that does not give a rat's ass about profanity.
Mon May 27, 2013 11:27 am by 
Subject: Artemis Reviews: Orcs and Elves 
